Monday, November 21, 2005
Agent Cooper and I walk the line...
Current mood: loved
Category: Life
Letter come in the real mail, from far away places! Pirates, wind! Gentlemen opening the doors for the lady! Lover kids! Families in thrift stores reading books and playing! Girls with PhDs in bartending! Sweet sweet people! Tight baby T shirts on boys! Calypso women and ragtime kids! Rocking the Mohawk with glitter at your Grandma's Birthday party!
I had to add on to my blog because earlier, I was cut off from my little blogness. Basically, life is a kaleidoscope myriad jambalaya of EVERYTHING delightful as well as Skin-sinking bonedeep sadness and people bent with their weird personal and emotional handicaps. Lately I have gotten a forceful breeze of the darkness and sadness and ghosts that go on inside some ones. It is a beautiful and crazy haunting thing to witness and I am so glad to have it somewhere in my soul to have touched my wisdom, but I am even gladder that I am an optimist's optimist 95% of my time. Oh, to be the "solitary eye nerve-watcher of the world's whirling diamond."
Oh, Jack. "Somewhere along the way I knew there would be girls, visions, everything." yes yes yes. I love love. And I am such a lover right now! Truer than ever I know it more than ever. I am true. I am true. I am true. So are you. Happy Holiday time to everyone I decided I am going to make it the happeningest season ever for myself. And that is going to involve EVERYONE ELSE! :)
Life is so beautiful and we all have bad days, last Thurs-Friday happened to be that for me. I was sick you got to give me that one. But truly, I love this Nevada city. I love the feeling that I feel which is so effing huge and lovely that I could explode. I realize, sure, if I have to be sick and alone for a couple days, that bites, but you know what? Not forever ever, forever ever? Never. I realize, on this good day, on this wonderful amazing through-my-heart everything day, that even sadness is glorious. And today I am damn sure not sad. And Placerville does kind of bite the bullet you know? That city full of people S-T-U-C-K in 1994 til forever. Fake boob wearing, NASCAR obsessing, playboy pin-up posting, Racist, crappily overly religious gay-hating, non-openminded yuckness I DON'T NEED IN MY LIFE EVER, thank you very much. Thank goodness there are some youngsters there now who are hip to the trick and want to just love and make noise and make art. No, though, Nevada City is in me to the death.
I am reading about Miss Lotta Crabtree and Lola Montez and all the gold miners and the whole ordeal back then. It is so enlightening. Placerville was "hangtown", and this other area was a cultural center. So that makes sense now doesn't it folks? I like lovers not fighters. I am trying to not be a fighter, so don't call me one just for making the statement. I am lover not a fighter but damn all of you who were too busy while I was dieing but nevermind I am gonna love you to the death too. I will be fine, at first, and then I will be amazing and in love. And then everything will come. Stars, rains, picnics, screaming streets, pull over on the side of the road laugh attacks, kids playing instruments, me radical and badical and rocking the boat forever.
ROCK it now!
Currently listening :
Lady in Red: Very Best of Chris de Burgh
By Chris de Burgh
Release date: By 25 January, 2000
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