37th Post November 2006

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Coalition to stop bachelor parties
Category: Life


Hi guys..

After crying on and off for four days and having the hugest emotional breakdown I have had since Art and I have been together and before, I realize that I need to start the Coalition to End Bachelor Parties. CEBP. I guess the main reason is because I think women are the raddest, most beautiful, most giving, most nurturing, make things pretty, stay in good moods, can wear kids inside of them til they come out, optimistic, most amazing, able people around....and the concept of Having a bachelor party right before a man has the privelege to be wed to one, where the future husband has hopes of having a "better" time than when he is with his one leading lady- is pure degeneration.

Women deserve the highest level of respect and for me I think that also means being with someone who is still SO in love with them since the time they met that the guy totally DOES NOT want to be without them. Not even for one night. I can't imagine that some of my favorite love-stories, like Romeo and Juliet and Eurydices and Orpheus and Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan had bachelor parties where there like "Get that beautiful woman out of here! She'll ruin our crappy party! We need guys only so we can be totally disgusting!" .... um, how about not, how about American "STUPID"

Anyways, since my own personal ordeal has spurred the worst arguing and heartbreak and distrust that Art and I have had since we have been together, I think it would be really nice of me to promote the END OF BACHELOR PARTIES...forever. This would be a great service I could give to the world of sweet girls in love and soon to be wed, who -during the most stressful time of their life, in the midst of picking out vows, flowers, music, etc...- DO NOT NEED THE ADDED idiocy of this event taking place and wasting their mind space and wasting their precious last-minute time. Leave it for the girls who are actually really excited to see their own male stripper. Those girls deserve guys who want bachelor parties. For the CEBP I am talking about MY girls.

There should be ONE BIG PRE-WEDDING combined bachelor/ette party where all the friends come together and play stupid games or pranks on the two soon-to-be weds and have a disgustingly awesome time together, out on the town, in the dumb veil or what have you even, but TOGETHER. This will stop many weddings from almost not happening. This will save many sad girls from turning into the RAGING BITCH that I have been just 3 short days before my wedding. OR, a couple alternatives to this poorly conjured up idea of an American traditional party/ freakshow (PROBABLY THOUGHT UP BY THE KKK) is to freaking wait til your married to have the seperate parties, or to do it three months ahead of time so you are through the post-party war zone.

Just a suggestion guys, if you want peace of mind and you ever get married, I would highly recommend you save yourselves the time, the emotional wreck your girl could very well turn into, and yourselves a whole lot of trouble.

CEBP


Currently listening :
At War with the Mystics
By The Flaming Lips
Release date: By 04 April, 2006

2:53 AM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove -


matt

I will join your CEBP. I think those parties are terribly stupid--some extension of the high-school jock, 'broz-4-life' kind of scene. I can just picture them now, with all their whooping and jeering and the amazing overflow of testosterone and manliness.

It also seems to me that it's the antithesis of marriage. Sure, you're getting married--you can [partially] say goodbye to a certain dimension of your life--that of singleness--but you're not supposed to celebrate that leaving in a way that acts like it's tragic or horrible or the end or something. Isn't that what those parties do?: Let's celebrate one last hurrah, one final chapter, one sad, sorrowful, fleeting goodbye-moment to all that was so wonderful in life before. Please.

I think instead there needs to be an initiation party, thrown by the already-marrieds, that welcomes the soon-to-be-newlywed to a new perspective on life that does not take away all the freedoms and causes for happiness that were there before. It's just a little bit different, that's all.

Posted by matt on Nov 21, 2006 4:19 AM
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Gus the Fish


my name's joey and i propose the Coalition to End Paranoia.... FOREVER!!!!!!



CEP FOR LIFE!

just kidding addie. i loveya. youll be fine. just think of the kodama. you and art should go get lost in the forest for a week or so. a honeymoon spent struggling to survive. think of the emotional bonding benefits!


Posted by Gus the Fish on Nov 21, 2006 4:53 AM
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J@mie


lol. You are clearly showing all signs of the Bridezilla charicterisics....

I understand trashy before parties, the "I only have one more night of freedom" attitude, and the insecurity of not knowing what your other half is actually doing.

I have not really thought about our Bachelor/ Bachelorett Party. All I know, is neither one of us want guys/girls strippers, alcohol, drugs or drama. I want to remember my time spent with my girls in my wedding, and I know Ken does too.

Now that I have read this Blog however, I realize that not everyone has that peace of mind. Theres always those couple party animals within your bridal party that want to add Hype, and un-needed things. We have made it very clear to them what we will and will not tolerate. The think the meaning of these before gatherings is to just enjoy your bridal party, and friends. Hang out, play some games, and have fun.

It makes me sad that there are guys out here that would find it a must to hire a girl and have her get all nasty naked RIGHT BEFORE they commit themselves to their wives. Its descusting to me as well.

Lucky for you, your parties are over, no more thought about nasties all up on your man...stripping...teasing.... and filth. Gross!

Im sure you are under a lot of stress, lots of things to do this next week, tons to think about, but remember to enjoy it all. You only get this opportunity 1 time.

I hope everything else is going good for you.

Jamie


Posted by J@mie on Nov 21, 2006 6:13 AM
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heather

i really like matt's idea of the welcoming party. this bachelor party trend was invented by money makers looking to sell shit. i am sure the stripper industry lives for it. it is everything despicable about american society. but art's night out with his friends wasn't like that anyway. so i also agree with joey. i like jamie's idea of no alcohol too. why do people always think you have to drink to have fun? anyway, we drank wine out at the cabin and that was perfect for fitting the romantic, spooky, ghosty foresty mood. which i really felt out there and i thought it was wonderful. someday you are going to have super good memories of that weekend. and you won't have disgusting paraphenalia to throw away like penis suckers. maybe we should have gotten you a sparkly bride-to-be tee shirt though. still it is just buying into that ridiculous capitalistic bullshit wedding/pre-wedding/all the dumb stuff you never thought you'd ever need market that i despise. okay i gotta go cook dinner. i love you honey. i think there are a million secret beautiful butterfly memories hiding in all these experiences. i love art too!

Posted by heather on Nov 21, 2006 11:27 AM
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mikie

Pre-Script: Don't take any offense to any of this. I don't know what's going on, I just felt like discussing your situation from a different perspective.


I'd like to announce the AWMAJAPABAAW club (Average White Males Are Just As Perfect And Beautiful As Any Woman) - where we make the minor the major, and all the discriminations against the average american male go from messy to blessy! Bring out the bachelor, and bring out the best!

Ok, so here's my point:

I've never been married. In fact, I haven't even come close to having even a girlfriend for nearly 7 YEARS now. Yet strangely, I feel I am still included in your problems with bachelor parties. Am I really a part of this? I argue, certainly not. Neither I, nor many of your american males belong to this problem you're describing. (I have been to one or two bachelor parties, and in each case they have been wonderfully fun times for both the bachelors and their fiancees.) I argue that it's not the concept of the bachelor party that's the problem, but perhaps some other more personal issue that has raised the stakes of this debacle.

In other words, I disagree with your idea because found myself wrongly lumped into that category you like to call Bachelors. Guys like me are disgusting? and proud of it? Maybe. But guys like me are also respectable, compassionate and chivalrous - and usually proud of that too. See, if you assume anything about an entire gender of human beings, you've suddenly pulled a thick wool over your eyes while driving on the freeway. It's clear that women are beautiful and perfect. It's also clear that men are beautiful and perfect. It's clear that men are arrogant and slobbish and disgusting and proud of it. It's also clear that women are arrogant and proud and disgusting and slobbish. So if we're all the same as one another, I argue to either include everybody (as you have) yet totally cease to be insulting and open your mind, or exclude everybody but yourself and then make your judgments.

Ahh, here's a very good book to read just before you get married:

It's a play written by Ben Jonson called Epicoene. It mocks both male and female gender roles of the early 17th century - roles that clearly haven't undergone any real changes since 400 years ago. No woman is different, for better or worse, than any man. We all have our pride, disgustings, perfections and beautifulness.

AWMAJAPABAAW


Posted by mikie on Nov 21, 2006 12:23 PM
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