Today something broke through.
On my way to my first class today I stopped at Pony Espresso, one of my favorite places to get coffee and a scone. I commented on the sunshine and the owner/dad told me about how it seemed like Seattle weather of late. And then he said... "except up there they have clinics".... and i asked what he meant. He then proceeded to tell me about clinics up in the Northwest that help people from literally losing their minds from not getting enough sun. He said they have counseling and grow lights and other therapies! Has anyone ever heard of this? Anyhow, I have yet to look it up, but let me tell you that (as if you hadn't noticed) I TOTALLY could have used one of those in the past two months! I honestly have felt at times like I was on the brink of going insane. Like one more raindrop or snowflake would send me over the edge. I guess it's nothing new. Weather has always mattered to me greatly and I truly do love a climate with four distinct even-sized seasons. Sacramento is somewhat like that, but their winter is pretty shabby.
Speaking of Sacramento, that's where I am! I headed down to my Photoshop class today which is always an option and today I thought I would take advantage of the nice warm weather that I KNEW would be in Sacramento. It's true. It's been glorious. After class I went to Thunderhorse Vintage and picked up two adorable little dress numbers! The sweetheart there was so kind and friendly. Then I came to the Naked Lounge Coffee House and got one of my favorite things in the whole world. A blended mochachino. They make them without regular milk....just ice, espresso, sweetened condensed milk, and chocolate (I'm not sure if it is powder or liquid), and it seriously ALWAYS turns out like perfection. Nothing like those too-sweet other kinds of blended drinks that taste like they are infused with high fructose corn syrup. These mochachinos are ever so slightly bitter, very espresso-ish, and chocolatey sweet. Oh.... and there was NO WAY I was going to forfeit their offer of REAL whipped cream! Seriously, perfection on a warm day and I just had to pretend that spring has yes, completely and officially and warmly begun. I figure I am just going to manifest here..... It's time to be rid of the cold.
Why am I writing any of this? I am not sure. I guess I just am feeling my spirits lifting and it feels good and I want to write. I have been writing more lately, like I used to, in diaries, in poetry form, just for the easing of my heavy spirit. And now, as I feel the world on my shoulders become lighter too, I still want to. I miss those old diary dog days. Those days of the NECESSITY of carrying my diary with me to anywhere I went. Even to bars, I had to have the availability of my pen and blank paper. If I ever have kids they will really have a lot of junk to read someday. I must have about 30 plus diaries, maybe 40!
I have been working out alot lately, running my butt off, and yesterday I did some intense walking uphill workout on the treadmill. I watched one of my classes (it's a web stream thing) while walking for an hour and 15 minutes. Crazy thing is, it truly was HARDER than running 5 miles. My legs were much more sore afterwards! I decided that before I get prego, if it ever happens, I am really putting my ALL into getting into the best shape I have ever been in. I have had some realizations about that of late, it was always my goal to be really strong and fit one day. Mainly for the challenge, but also adding a few years to my life ain't bad. This is the best I think I have ever done at such at thing. It's been about 6-7 weeks and I have been running 10-15 miles a week and eating healthier than I ever have before. Which DOES NOT mean that I starve myself of things like an occasional mochachino! I'm not on a diet, just trying to eat all those healthy ways "they" always talk about. Complex carbs instead of processed, lots of salad, veggies, fruit, and protein. Rambling, diary, stuff no one really wants to know. Oh well, I guess it's time to make those little blank books my best friend again instead of pumping it all up to the web. Lately I feel a tiny bit weird about having so much public stuff up on the web. It's so strange how anyone can google you now and just find out about most anything they want to know. I am so relieved that I lived the dark/sketchier time of my life in an era when nothing was permanently recorded for all the world to see. It would have been better if I perhaps hadn't had to go through it at all, but we've all got our lessons to learn. How embarrassing for kids now though. Geez, make a couple of mistakes and they can be sure that in fifteen years those trials and error won't be forgotten! Someone will post that crap to the web! I guess it's incentive to stay on the straight and narrow.... no wandering, no drugs, no meanheadedness as best as you can. Our poor kids. They are going to have to be PERFECT their whole lives long!
Ok, so there's my blog about nothing, really. Just a dash of good hopes for the spring to come and a flash of gold for the upcoming summer.....
3 comments:
Hello Adie,
"Circadian rhythm"...something I had to learn after moving four years ago to northern MN from Los Angeles, whoa! did that throw everything off balance. In winter the sun is down at 4 and in summer the sun is still up at 10pm, to really think about the 'rhythm' of all living things and how we ARE connected is remarkable and comforting. Haven't heard much around here about the clinics though, these Minnesotans are tough folk, although now I know why they always refer to their southfacing windows. Since then I have rearranged the seating in the house at those windows.It is one of things that helps.
I so agree with you about keeping a pen written diary/journal, the same for a written letter by mail(does anyone do that anymore?). Walking and running, working out and eating all the right stuff...oh my! I msut get off my butt and take your inspiration outside and walk about! Spring is just starting here, its turning more green everyday. Yay!!! Sunshine and Daydreams and sending some LOVE your way :)
aw ade, can't wait to see these dresses live. and everything has fallen into place! i'm so excited to see the new place. maybe your burst of good energy brought out the best in the universe. love you!
They do have clinics in Seattle. The suicide rate spikes significantly in the winter, and it's not too hard to see why. I grew up in Seattle and I don't remember being sad, but it was very dark and very rainy. It's super common for people down there and up here in the islands (I'm a few hours northwest of Seattle) to have "happy lights". They're these nice little units that you turn on and point at your face for for an hour or so a day. They do wonders for all the people that I know who have them, especially people with a history of depression or mental instability. I don't think that the lack of light makes you sad, it tends to "trigger" people, though. I know that if I don't go away for at least one week this year to a place with full on sun I am going to lose it. I live on a F*ing island and it's always kinda breezy and cool.
Um....walking with an incline burns more calories and is better for your muscle tone than running. It's easier on your joints and gives a longer, stronger boost to your circulatory system, too. I push my kids in a double strolled (100 plus lbs all together) and is is a real workout. I do the same "just be healthier" eating/exercise plan. It works well. I do care how you're doing and about your relationship with your body. I like being connected with people and love being surprised when we're having similar experiences.
I hope you don't stop blogging. You can always pull these off the internet by marking them as drafts again. They don't have to be out here forever.
Lots of love and sunshine,
Claire
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