My morning tarot

If I had to label myself anything, I s'pose I'd call myself a mystic and a member of the non-existent Church of Tom Waits & The Cure-Listening, Animal & Jesus-Loving, Tim & Eric-Watching Nicies.... That being said....I do indeed read the Tarot. I learned back in 2002-03 when I ventured forth to the city of Portland and lived there alone in a new world that was brimming with dive bars, possibility and excitement. After a couple months of solitude some friends moved there and we got a house together, but I spent VERY much time alone adventuring through and exploring the awesome innards of that glittering emerald mekka. I found a great job waitressing in old town and often I would go out on the east side alone on my way home. I didn't stay living in Portland more than 9 months, because my California tan wanted so badly to wear skirts and sandals in April and May, and I found that in Portland the rain rumours were indeed quite true. Plus I just missed everyone else. But I began learning the art of reading the card-signs by taking my tarot cards out on adventures with me. At first I would go sit in Pioneer Square and I would just ask some stranger who didn't look too hurried if they might let me read cards for them and then afterwards tell me how I did. This took a lot of guts, but I somehow mustered them up and followed through. This initial success led to subsequent night-wanderings into many local dive bars where I pursued the same practice. Portland perhaps has more cool dive bars than any other city I have ever been to. There's like 600. Ones that come to mind are The Sandy Hut (which people happily nicknamed "The Handy Slut :), the Hungry Tiger, Slabtown, My Father's Place, but the memories of other ones go on and on and on. There is NO LACK of serious imbibement, pinball machines, people watching, live music, great food, and $1 Pabsts in Portland. In fact, just writing this blog may be inspiration to throw together a school spring break northwest divebar adventure with my Arthie....fast, before there's a baby in m' belly!

Anyhoo, back to the Tarot. I ended up wandering a few nights a week, alone, into neighborhood bars, planting my patootie down on a stool, singling out a victim (some of the time they were nice looking fellows :), and asking the person if they would like a reading. In the end I started even charging 3$ a read! So funny when I look back at it. I had this idea that I would become a nationally famous, dive-bar hopping Tarot reader, reading Tarot for bargoers from Tennesee to Tucson and back to Portland. Such a dork. But I learned ALOT. People really took to my readings and out of all the times I have ever read for anyone, only once was the person skeptical and weird about it, and the funny thing about that was THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE CARDS were telling me! That he was skeptical and needed to open his heart, etc. Other than that, almost EVERY SINGLE TIME I have ever read cards for anyone the "write-on" :) results have surprised not only the person I am reading for but myself as well! They are almost always spot on and I am always prepared to for them to be totally NOT so I am always surprised. Especially lately since I left them mostly on a shelf for a few years. I tend to warn people that the cards are usually right but I can't guarantee anything and one thing is for sure, IT IS NOT ME! I have no talent in this thing other than just telling the person what the cards say, and that ain't talent! It is a really strange thing to do, however, and I take extra precaution about the future card because of this magical synchronicity. Tarot readers must be VERY careful not to detail the future. The future card is simply the most probable outcome if the person getting their cards read continues on THE PATH THAT THEY ARE CURRENTLY ON. There should be no scary or ominous future readings, ever. Because the future is in THAT PERSON'S HANDS and any decision they make can change that outcome. I often tell them that simply my reading of the cards WILL change the future because if they don't like the direction the cards are telling them they are headed in they will make sure to make a life change.

And I myself needed the universal voice this morning. And so I read. And to my delight, the cards gave me the assertiveness and guidance I was looking for. Alot of Christians think tarot cards are evil. But in my mind they are simply hardly different than saying a prayer. In both instances you are asking for guidance from the universe. For me the tarot is very spiritual AND IN NO WAY QUESTIONABLE AT ALL OR BAD. I believe God is far vaster and less human than most religious people imagine it to be, and therefore has the impermeating ability to soak into the tiny details and signs of your life all around you. In fact those signs ARE ALWAYS everywhere around you, it's just that often our eyes cannot see them. To me, the tarot cards simply harness those signs for a moment in time and spell those signs out directly. But the same exact instinct, direction, inner voice, etc already encompasses you, perhaps you just haven't noticed outright. These cards just make it clear. I am not playing with anything "dark" or "evil" when I read these cards because I read them with a heart of kindness and realness that knows that what the cards say could also be answered by contemplating deeply, prayer, friend's advice, and other paths of clarity and decision making. I do not believe that even the "ominous" looking cards (Eight of Cups, Ten of Swords, Nine of Swords) are ever "bad". I do not LET IN any darkness and so therefore I refuse to believe the old school christian ideas that think this practice to be of the devil. However.... when reading the cards, one must be careful not to overdramatize or draw unhealthy conclusions from them, especially ones that make the person looking for an answer uncomfortable or scared. FEAR is truly what the old school folks called "the Devil". Fear is the only Devil I know.




A song by me/Coal Beautiere (which is not another name for myself! just happens to be what I named my little bandy and it does not mean "dark beauty" it means "hold only to what is real and can withstand time") called Modern Dayz, which talks about those signs that are really all around you but easier to see sometimes with the tarot. Just gave it a listen for the first time in many moons, and it sure sounds a bit jumbled coming from my Macbook! Ah well.....


Here is a bit look at my funny Hollywood deck, which is quite hilarious. I picked it up in 1998 or so at The Garden Of Enchantment. (Yep Heather our favorite old magical shop from Old Sacramento!) Contrary to popular belief, I think that the idea that buying yourself Tarot cards is JUST AS RELIABLE as getting them from a friend, since I bought these and the book that goes along with them with my own money and they have worked out just great. But this deck is SOOOO cheesy looking. The book even says things like "A man resembling Sean Connery wears a crown and holds a golden wand." I'm NOT JOKING! But in 1998 I myself was new age/Hollywood/cheesy as hell (still am-ish). What gets me the most about this deck is the Lovers cards. It is possibly the cheesiest, dorkiest, tackiest, worst image of lovers I have ever seen. Funnily enough, that's kind of what I think about the idea of head-over-heels love these days- cheesy, tacky, and all around often lame. Being married and all, I guess I am partial to the companionship and committed version of long term love.....maybe that's what the illustrator thought too. Because the "friendship" and "wish fulfillment" cards are MUCH BETTER!

The infamous Lovers card, hilarious! What? Headband? Starjacket? Feathered hair.......LOVE IT! SO symbolically true:


Friendship, Two of Cups


Wish Fulfillment: Nine of Cups


The World


The High Priestess




Below are some cards from a different deck I purchased in Portland. It's a bit more timeless. :)