My Wish List of all the things

My WiSH liST for no good reason in order of importance



Cotton Candy Machine
Cartier the perfume Eau de Cartier
Treadmill (fold-up and hide kind)
Antique Dolls
Pearl strands
Extra Lace of all kinds
Fishing line
All kinds of tights and socks
Gardenia Illume Candles
A slide projector and white screen
Heaps of old slides
Clear Laminate for my sheet music restoring
Piles of Reminisce Magazine

Summer Dress

Summer dress cotton-clear sunstricken clouds
blue powder eyes Dream a voice in her vains
In her ears the bloods pound, the nerves trickle in
To sweat to the music of the rollercoaster trains.

From the backyard to the schoolyard
She can see the whole world
Revolving with the glitter-
auditorium teens
The ice cream scene stealers
horsecamp baton twirlers
She still hears the walls whisper,
Theater drama queens.

In liquid black eyeliners, with bare skinny backs
The veils of girl dreams unfold warm and flap
Wildly and quickly in the hot summer air
They are gasping for romance
They are shaking to care.

So they free their sundresses into kites made of wind
Taking notes in their whimsical notebooks of stars
Anything once, bible study brings sin
Hiding vodka and vanilla in faded blue cars.

Oh girls who of children sing yellow wallpaper
Keep daring your daydreams into truths and not vapor
Your families may terrify what your hearts tell you
But turn toward the shine of your wild to propel you.

A cherished doll face and her colored collection
A passion for soda, chocolate coke confection
For pens and their paper, typewriters and their lives
Don't sigh your tired breath out lest you'll pluck out your eyes!

That light heart so beautiful, your gazes make frost
Your sweet taste for innocence will ferment if it's lost
That newness keeps coming, that light will move tears
Those nerves will sweat scarlet through these rollercoaster years.


All the angel-Shy boys stare away at games
When you ask them to play and they won't tell you their names.

90's Bands/ Starving for Music in High School

OK. So back then I couldn't find much. At the mall they had half and half plaid flannel hoodies for girls. No fucking skirts! Just hoodies after hoodies that went down long past your hips and gross jeans. I was bored to tears. Thank God I still feel 19 even though it is 15 years later. Now what I love is in style. Old fashioned dresses, scarves and hats, carnival lives, colours, stockings and tights, striped things, lace, coats of many colors! And I was on Cingular today, trying to think of a Ringtone I want and finally decided on a couple...but in the midst of it I started remembering a few good 90's bands. Compared to now, they were like needles in a haystack, but they did exist. What I remember:

Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Foo Fighters- Everlong
Goo Goo Dolls- Iris
Collective Soul
Soundgarden
Bush
Live
Gin Blossoms,
Alanis Morrissette
Tori
I won't even write out the "N" word
but hell,
N__ana was good too.

titles more

Delusions of grandeur
feather of a flicker
your dream sang out and I could hear it
spells for the swamps
ghost stories from the greyhound
time stops for the birds
the flicker's skies are free
time runs backwards for the birds

To DO

Projects:
Spring 2005 South ByYou cassettes and DDJ interviews
Record Heather's wedding song and the DDJ song
Old photos into new album
Photo shoot
More decorating
Take pics and sell clothes/ go to thrift stores to find them
More ebay sells
Tune piano
Finish recording

Music Crazy

I am working on my next album, debating my title. It could be "Damn Near Broke Our Crazy Necks" .... a Holden Caulfield takeoff. Or it could be "Blood and Gold". Or it could be " The Blood That Stained the Years Has Turned to Melodies". Not sure. "Wild of Blood and Gold"


Kind of for my own good I needed to write some of the songs on it. I hope it to have 22 songs.
I have to write them down, or I may forget!

My Ghost Towns Need A Ghost
Oh Sky!
Hummah-Hah
Modern Days
Into a Scar/ Star
Park Hotel
Shipwreck'd
Creepy Addicts
Frank Jonny Blue
The King's Hands
Maybe That's Why I Love You
Waitress Graveyard Floor
Front Porch, 90 Degrees
Family Ghost, Illumined
Southern Born Child
Shack Tied-Up with Lace
A Wrinkle Stuck on My Skin
Game of Solitaire

I woke up to God smiling this morning

( i wrote this earlier this 2006 year, but just left it in a file on the puter... so here tis)

I woke up to God smiling this morning.
He laughed in the early light and told me to keep dreaming.
He meant it in a good way.

I dreamed of my Grandmother’s arm
And tears poured through my dream as I felt my
childhood again and felt the feeling there from long back ago.

The feeling came when I recognized a painting that hung once
On the walls of my grandmother’s homes.

It meant how as a child I knew my grandma’s house meant fun
And that was a sweet memory.

Yet it awoke another memory as well.

A feeling that my grandmother’s house was so very good because

My home at home wasn’t quite so good.
Not terrible, you know, not horrible at all.

But

I remembered a feeling and how it hurt inside of me.
It was quiet, subliminal, stern, worn, frustrated, hating something.
It was hard and strict because life was “hard and that is that”.
Because “life isn’t fair”.

Yeah,

well,

God

Is.

Though I dreamed last night of the tentative days,
I awoke a newfound warrior princess.
I started dualing villains so long ago,

Those sparks of freedom at my grandma’s house,
Those hints at sweet love and forgiveness,
I searched for them everywhere, desperately.

I knew they were the real life,
And I knew they could be won.

That enamel painting reminded me of what I knew then

And how it sparked my mission in life.
Of how relentless I’ve worked for it (a smile daily) and how far I’ve come
To prove my days hardworking, yet full of joy and passion,
To prove that joy and passion and fun

Are allowable
Are necessary
Are holier than regret.

Allowable because life is a miracle and a gift.
Necessary because how can we praise god if we do not have them?
Holier because it was only in a dream that I could even remember

How those older days felt.

All I know now is joy.
Later this morning, I rode the long bus ride to work and
God’s sunlight gleamed off of every passing car
And in the glint of grey hair

And through the music in my ears.