Summer Dress

Summer dress cotton-clear sunstricken clouds
blue powder eyes Dream a voice in her vains
In her ears the bloods pound, the nerves trickle in
To sweat to the music of the rollercoaster trains.

From the backyard to the schoolyard
She can see the whole world
Revolving with the glitter-
auditorium teens
The ice cream scene stealers
horsecamp baton twirlers
She still hears the walls whisper,
Theater drama queens.

In liquid black eyeliners, with bare skinny backs
The veils of girl dreams unfold warm and flap
Wildly and quickly in the hot summer air
They are gasping for romance
They are shaking to care.

So they free their sundresses into kites made of wind
Taking notes in their whimsical notebooks of stars
Anything once, bible study brings sin
Hiding vodka and vanilla in faded blue cars.

Oh girls who of children sing yellow wallpaper
Keep daring your daydreams into truths and not vapor
Your families may terrify what your hearts tell you
But turn toward the shine of your wild to propel you.

A cherished doll face and her colored collection
A passion for soda, chocolate coke confection
For pens and their paper, typewriters and their lives
Don't sigh your tired breath out lest you'll pluck out your eyes!

That light heart so beautiful, your gazes make frost
Your sweet taste for innocence will ferment if it's lost
That newness keeps coming, that light will move tears
Those nerves will sweat scarlet through these rollercoaster years.


All the angel-Shy boys stare away at games
When you ask them to play and they won't tell you their names.

90's Bands/ Starving for Music in High School

OK. So back then I couldn't find much. At the mall they had half and half plaid flannel hoodies for girls. No fucking skirts! Just hoodies after hoodies that went down long past your hips and gross jeans. I was bored to tears. Thank God I still feel 19 even though it is 15 years later. Now what I love is in style. Old fashioned dresses, scarves and hats, carnival lives, colours, stockings and tights, striped things, lace, coats of many colors! And I was on Cingular today, trying to think of a Ringtone I want and finally decided on a couple...but in the midst of it I started remembering a few good 90's bands. Compared to now, they were like needles in a haystack, but they did exist. What I remember:

Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Foo Fighters- Everlong
Goo Goo Dolls- Iris
Collective Soul
Soundgarden
Bush
Live
Gin Blossoms,
Alanis Morrissette
Tori
I won't even write out the "N" word
but hell,
N__ana was good too.

titles more

Delusions of grandeur
feather of a flicker
your dream sang out and I could hear it
spells for the swamps
ghost stories from the greyhound
time stops for the birds
the flicker's skies are free
time runs backwards for the birds

To DO

Projects:
Spring 2005 South ByYou cassettes and DDJ interviews
Record Heather's wedding song and the DDJ song
Old photos into new album
Photo shoot
More decorating
Take pics and sell clothes/ go to thrift stores to find them
More ebay sells
Tune piano
Finish recording

Music Crazy

I am working on my next album, debating my title. It could be "Damn Near Broke Our Crazy Necks" .... a Holden Caulfield takeoff. Or it could be "Blood and Gold". Or it could be " The Blood That Stained the Years Has Turned to Melodies". Not sure. "Wild of Blood and Gold"


Kind of for my own good I needed to write some of the songs on it. I hope it to have 22 songs.
I have to write them down, or I may forget!

My Ghost Towns Need A Ghost
Oh Sky!
Hummah-Hah
Modern Days
Into a Scar/ Star
Park Hotel
Shipwreck'd
Creepy Addicts
Frank Jonny Blue
The King's Hands
Maybe That's Why I Love You
Waitress Graveyard Floor
Front Porch, 90 Degrees
Family Ghost, Illumined
Southern Born Child
Shack Tied-Up with Lace
A Wrinkle Stuck on My Skin
Game of Solitaire

I woke up to God smiling this morning

( i wrote this earlier this 2006 year, but just left it in a file on the puter... so here tis)

I woke up to God smiling this morning.
He laughed in the early light and told me to keep dreaming.
He meant it in a good way.

I dreamed of my Grandmother’s arm
And tears poured through my dream as I felt my
childhood again and felt the feeling there from long back ago.

The feeling came when I recognized a painting that hung once
On the walls of my grandmother’s homes.

It meant how as a child I knew my grandma’s house meant fun
And that was a sweet memory.

Yet it awoke another memory as well.

A feeling that my grandmother’s house was so very good because

My home at home wasn’t quite so good.
Not terrible, you know, not horrible at all.

But

I remembered a feeling and how it hurt inside of me.
It was quiet, subliminal, stern, worn, frustrated, hating something.
It was hard and strict because life was “hard and that is that”.
Because “life isn’t fair”.

Yeah,

well,

God

Is.

Though I dreamed last night of the tentative days,
I awoke a newfound warrior princess.
I started dualing villains so long ago,

Those sparks of freedom at my grandma’s house,
Those hints at sweet love and forgiveness,
I searched for them everywhere, desperately.

I knew they were the real life,
And I knew they could be won.

That enamel painting reminded me of what I knew then

And how it sparked my mission in life.
Of how relentless I’ve worked for it (a smile daily) and how far I’ve come
To prove my days hardworking, yet full of joy and passion,
To prove that joy and passion and fun

Are allowable
Are necessary
Are holier than regret.

Allowable because life is a miracle and a gift.
Necessary because how can we praise god if we do not have them?
Holier because it was only in a dream that I could even remember

How those older days felt.

All I know now is joy.
Later this morning, I rode the long bus ride to work and
God’s sunlight gleamed off of every passing car
And in the glint of grey hair

And through the music in my ears.

To You Whom Be the Reader Now

To you whom be the reader now,
My love is vast and real and I aught not be a comedienne but I am sending this love out to you. For my thirty-first annual Me Being Alive soiree, I want to send love letters to the inspiritators of my heart.
You who have shaped and supported and given of that big ripe smoky moon to me, and all your screaming delight of being alive and Revolutionaries, and sweaty rock concert velvet swoon cabarets, and wild forest candle-lady lass singin troubadours we are, and bonfires and scarlet fevers and swashbuckling tavernesses, and tra-la-day we be youth the state of mind!, I love you alls so to foreverland! We are the ones who laughed and swang on swings in the face of our disgruntled families and the shaking Man finger in our face saying "you! ha! you can't change the world!" Well look around now Mister. Oh girls and saviors! Thanks be to your sweet hearts of poetry and vagabond dreams! You are the ones who taught me to love the river AND the gutters and the coffees of the rues and the rails. You are the inspiritators of my heart, whom Heaven-Sent, brought me out of oppressing violent life that I once knew ( in the ignorance of first love). You wore party dresses and velvet suits and then we Grew and we Grew, and what made us stand out is still what makes us now a growing revolution of young and wonderful madmen lovelies and grown-up kids and children of the western widelight. Our good souls, our good song, our good love, our true hearts to each other. Remember it! To not lie is to your own advantage, now and forever!


Early-late after noon. The bright yellow flower squash I am eating is so lovely. And coconut rice... I think (right now) that forever is a long time to be alive. But yet it is what I am made for! I love breathing,

This is How I Got Here.
Breathing!
Feeling,
dancing and running,
through the courtyards up the stairs
tis I who looked for you. (and years!)
I searched and pried for you (the tears!)
I searched and scrounged for you!
my dear!

I read Walt Whitman's scavenger tales
of hours of madness and joyful trails
i died and i died and million times
but my ghost was still employed
by life
and by one dream of magic
that writhes through our tree veins
receptors of neuron brains
adenosine- caffeine trains
skies breathing blue jangles
angel and city bangles
too lustrous too leave and too
real to believe.
and dark arms were to hold me and
wanted to hate me
but my love is too greatly
my love is too greatly.
and dark arms were to hold me and
wanted to hate me
but our love is too greatly
our love is too greatly.

Winds come and blow
the dresses that I knew
those trips of the exhaustified
unto the memory black holes.
Where the past becomes ice
until it melts into now
transcendental glory-man
comes emerging to glow.

beatist buddhist buddy priest
take this year and inspire a feast
take your past to drink with wine
til all is devoured
and the hour is divine.

Currently listening : The Times They Are A-Changin' By Bob Dylan Release date: By 21 June, 2005