DREAMS OF FLYING

Last night I spent at Claire's and Dee's in San Francisco.
Central Avenue.
On a magic couch.
Two nights my dreams were so strange and psychedelico.
My dreams of flying last night.

We were driving. My mother, my sister, and I.
A snow covered mountain poised directly ahead in our view on the highway.
I had a strong feeling that anything could happen so I checked my skin to know this was real life. A premonition was brewing in me. The view ahead shone clearly as the earth began shaking and I watched the top of that mountain fall off with trees crashing and thundering to the earth. Dirt was spilling all over the highway ahead, avalanches of the skyline falling.
The earthquake of all earthquakes was devouring the earth. And I had a feeling I would die.
Recently I had had a dream that I died in a plane and felt the free fall of death going into my stomach as we went down. I remembered that dream in this dream and thought, "I am going to die again? But that other one was a dream. Maybe it's true that its all just dream", but I feared for time and lostness as I realized that my present consciouness was really the real one. I thought, wow, this time I really AM going to die. No dreaming, this is real. I really thought this was it, in fact, I knew it. And for all I know now, this computer as I type is my new afterlife. It was THAT real. Everything went together in my mind, you see, memories of the days leading up to that fateful moment on the road, it wasn't like other dreams I had had where it is all choppy and misleading and the dream gives itself away. And then sure enough, we fell over the edge of a new cliff that the earth had broken into, while sitting in the car. And I knew this was my last few breaths, with Mom and Heather, in that car.
I was falling and dieing, and I just kept thinking, "wow, this really is death". And I just kept falling. And then I wasn't in a car, or with anyone, just alone falling and dieing into a void of sorts. I was falling and dieing and then sort of flying, too, through weird universe tunnel bubbles of white swirls that seemed like cloudy candy and I just kept thinking... which made me realize I wasn't quite dead yet. And then in the midst of my still impending "death", I went from dieing and falling to just thinking and flying. I began to fly everywhere, and anywhere, and I could fly through things, but I was still real. I somehow ended up back at planet earth and without meaning to, began descending from the sky with my hands raised from a light as though I was Jesus. I think it was New York City at this point. Or I was landing in some city like New York City, and actually the light was sort of coming from behind me from an unknown source in the sky. A resurrection of sorts. No one on the streets that were falling apart from the worldwide quake hardly even noticed me as I made my weird descent. I think there were some people pointing towards me with mouths agape and all, but then a falling building or a splintering gash happening in the concrete would distract them as I sort of landed back to the ground trying to proclaim that death was a joke. People seemed real caught up with the horrific dramas breaking out, and were so scared of their impending death as the earth shook in chaos and hurricanes, mountains breaking and fires, that my measly cries to them about there being nothing to fear were not working AT ALL. First off, no one believed me. I tried to tell them there was no reason to hurry or run or scream or cry because there was all eternity forever to do anything you want, and death had been a big joke. They could even SEE me flying and they still didn't care or really believe me. I even found my sister and mom, clear across the country, and they were still in the car, alive, but so scared and sad, and they didn't really believe me or know what was going on. So I just started flying from place to place trying to help out here and there, you know, wipe a bloodied forehead, calm a crying baby, little tricks of compassion and such. But the noise, after a while, started getting on my nerves, all that chaos and sadness and screaming and even fighting. Nobody would listen to reason. I was getting antsy about the whole thing, and a little annoyed maybe. I had to just sit back at a certain point, in the chaotic dark night, and watch for entertainment's sake or something. I mean, what else could I do? I was dead, already. My voice seemed so tiny in the midst of all that Armaggeddon shit. Finally I was like, "you guys suck and I'm bored. This is stupid." For all I cared, Earth could eat it.

And so I took off with my new flying habit to see what other places in all of eternity and the universe had some things new and funner going on.

The End
The END

Love is a way of life!

I can't stop writing about colder Fall air, and the warmth
people share when the light changes.
I am a revolutionary.
If you asked me why I have a thousand answers.
Just try.
I feel strong, invincible, true. I feel in love with everyone of you.
SO what's left but to drive my life in service to the world that aches.
I have healed my own lives, they run amuck now and I cannot stop
this frenzy.
A junkie for inspiration, passion, enthusiasm and strong strong beauty am I. And so a favorite prose.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--over and over announcing your place in the family of things.
© Mary Oliver

The Smell of Politics in Fall

Leaves quiver hold to olden light.
Morning fades from July's drastic dry to smooth cold shimmer.
Sunshine falls shy and cool.
Papers scattered through the office wood.
Voices on a weathered radio, claim your donation to manifest
public real news.
The world overrides its claws on suits and ties and $7,000 dollar shoes
For hurricane nervous breakdowns into the patient heart of awareness.
The same global page awaiting its new viewers.
Turn in your fat crusty balcony of remote controls and voiceover microwaves.
Throw them to the sea of junk they belong in.

I want more family and feet and hands to feel.
I want to grasp starlight with my eyes and to never
forget
twenty and the beginning of every new life.
I want cold to shoot into my lungs and create dance of joy.
I am muksha now I am red and gold and eskimo!
I am fire water ether air earth.
I am biomolecular receptors of nuero firings!

I want to sing from my throat cells and my heart's
own beauty strings.
A song that befalls every curtain of night every window of death
and the moment without fear.
One moment.
The only moment.
The only bridge across to an absolute.
Absolute that defeats itself as being its own arch nemesis.

And all of its thrift stores eternal.
violins, sands, clocks, fingernails, housepaint, billboards, gasoline
incense, coffee table books, records, turbans, frames, rainbows, harpsichords
forests, freeways, ferns, magazines, praying mantis, lollypops, silver, lipsticks
bricks, naan, spider, moss, garbage sack, snake, tv tray, gazebo, coconut, cigarette
hammocks, wrought iron, dolls, signpost, welcome mat
antique, video tape, earrings, airplane, laptop
peas, carrots, coins, plastic wrap, ac adaptors, bric-a-brac, bric-a-brac, bric-a-brac,
littered. used. over. ended. life junk. life junk. time.
I need need need
I am.
I am.
TIMELESS.
Without time.

We have smiles to pass around and kiss.
We have tongues that want grain and water.
We have new countries to sustain.
Their granted needs save my heart such pain of my own.
Childrens gleaming teeth.
Sun skimming hair.
Dancing ocean sands.
Flying feathers birds.
Call, fly, ocean shell.
SSsssssssss desert wind whip.
Dry, wet, yes, no, no, no
Yes.

Beautiful Cities of North America

When I think of New Orleans, I think beignets, Cafe du Monde, the horses and carriages, the wrought-iron French lace balconies, voodoo dolls and beads, the darkest loveliest cup of coffee ever, One-Eyed Jacks and the prettiest bartender ever, Meghann, and all the sweet spooky intellectuals I met there.

New Orleans wouldn't go down. It had to withstand the force. The sheer amount of haunt kept the heart of that storm away. Sure, the city's been hurt, but not swept away. And it could have happened. Too many good spells and magic keep a place alive. Especially those Rues and Calles in the French Quarter.

San Francisco is beautiful and haunted in a little less of a dark way. She is more full of wind and seagull's cries. She is more cold and alive. New Orleans is more death and dies. But funerals are alive too as we well know. Time is just an illusion. New Orleans makes peace with death and laughs with her poor man's cemetaries and her sweaty pavement heat.

What's It All About?

First and Foremost. Family. It is what we brought to the world we are in. It is the world we were given. It is our souls link, our karma, our own love, our own tree. Look in their eyes. There is a reason they look so much like our own. Isn't that nice? To know you are that close to someone that the actual spark in your eyes looks like theirs?

What will you do with your life? (and what I am doing with mine )

Tick tock tick tock
The clock is going and not waiting!

One life, one chance, what matters to you now? What is success?

ONE * Be a Part of saving our world and not destroying it.
simple. Recycle. Be kind. Be humble. Think of the other humans our actions
directly (or indirectly) affect.
How do I affect my friends and family?
Think of the animals and nature we affect.
How do I affect animals and nature?

ONE* Respect the child you used to be, and still are in many many ways!
(treat others as you would have others treat you)
(treat yourself as if you were the most wonderful innate being ever)
(have regular wondrous and innocent new adventures!)
( Go for the gold! Your dreams can and do come true!)
(We are always as new, just in a different moment, as we were back then.
there are still a thousand million possibilities.
Even if you are 99!
See a new natural phenomenon. Go to a castle. See a movie. Taste a new food.
Kiss a stranger on the cheek. Write a book.)

ONE* Love this gift of life we are so priveleged to receive!
Truly. Every moment, good friend, family member, blue sky, etc. IS ON LOAN! Any moment
it could very well vanish! Be cheerful now and always and show your love, and you will know
that you did your best with your precious life and with the life of your loved ones when the
time comes to say goodbye!

YES, wild Wind.

Yes, Wild Wind
I do summon you now!
You once took my hand,
And the friend in you shall last a lifetime.
We will blow to the tops of golden trees!
We will shine through stars and into mouths of monkeys!
We will sail so far in rags and swim with whales!
We will whip and stroke the sky and all her billows...

I will tiptoe to the balconies of ghost towers.
New York City, Bowery Ballroom, and dance the hours!
I will not give up the vein of blood that haunts!
I will fly like pidgeons spires to rooftops!

Wild wind, there is a spirit stuck in my heart
We are lovers, wind, and never shall we part.
Through to mountains, fog and streetlamps, fire and paper
Oragami cranes that fly behind those vapors.
And in all my mind's wildside imagination
There are spells of heart that come across in tides
They have whispered in my ears the name of you, wind
The wind of timeless kisses love,
The name of passion.

Back to Reality

Of course, you!
Back to reality, here I go.
My dreams had already come true but then I'd forgotten.
Don't tell me who I am.
Don't tell me you're disappointed.
Tis I my friend, whom is disappointed.

My love is as boundless as the sea!
And it goes for an eternity!
So it shall send itself off like Amazing Pilots in tiny jets
Into the eyes of everyone now.

There is no hero here
Only a zero flicker of clear.
And my love flies to every canyon and creek.
To the skyscrapers, pidgeons, palm trees and frozen lakes.

I am my own heroine, dear.
Have heart when I tell you it's the pain that must go.
Not I, I am here.
In my heart I reside.
But knowing your choice
Its as though a green branch has died.
And it still sucks the life,
From my beautiful small tree
Til I cut it off, darlin
Til I hear it hit the ground.

Now, my beautiful darling love
I am free.
You have to let go of me.
You chose that other road
And you can't have both,
You can't not not have me.

I will always love you- FOREVER!
I won't forget the way your eyes search
The way you stop and need to hold my hand
The way I loved you and
The way you could have loved.

It was clear to me.
You are where you want to be.
And my love is here, love.
My love is here.